Selections From Dewey Webb's Lurid Library

No. 87

Voluptua: Story of a TV Love Goddess
By Gloria Pall (Showgirl Press, 1992)

Sick of Bettie Page? Had it up to here with Vampira? Then slip between the covers with the vanity press memoirs of blast-from-the-past sex kitten Gloria Pall -- the mid-Fifties phenom who, as "Voluptua," briefly heated up L.A. TV screens with her come-hither hostessing chores on a late-night movie broadcast.

Seductively prowling through a kitschy boudoir set that even Liberace might have considered over-the-top (lip-shaped pillows, a kiss-studded dressing screen and a mink-trimmed phone), the video vixen kept male viewers glued to the set with a steady line of pillow talk, eventually stripping down to a skimpy nightie before kissing the camera lens "good-night" at the end of the show. In keeping with the show's bedroom theme, the self-styled "Living Goddess of Love" insisted that studio crew members work in their pajamas.

But a scant "seven hot weeks" after she went on the air, the boob tube's sleepy-time gal got a jarring wake-up call: The station yanked her provocative p.j. party, reportedly in response to outraged housewives and clergymen who'd dubbed her TV character "Corrupta."

While publicity over her dismissal (as well as an ill-advised publicity stunt in which she faked her own kidnapping) garnered her scads of ink, the former Miss Flatbush 1947 never quite recaptured her early career momentum. Following her "Voluptua" stint, Pall did minor movie roles and nightclub work before going leaving show biz to marry a North Hollywood car dealer. She shoulda stayed in bed.

Now a prolific authoress and keeper of Old Hollywood's flame, the tireless bombshell has her own Web site wher fans can purchase Gloriabilia. In addition to a video compilation of clips from 21 bit parts, merchandise also includes more than a half dozen of Gloria's self-Xeroxed books including 'Twas the Night I Met Elvis, How to Pose 50's Style and I Bought and Sold O.J.'s House in Bel Air


(Gloria responds to musician Spike Jones' trade paper ad for a showgirl "with no talent or brains.")

"Hi, you may already know who I am, but I'll introduce myself to you anyway. I'm Gloria Pall, star of stage, screen, TV, drive-ins and meat market openings. If you want someone who has everything, you're looking at her. So why don't you send all those nice girls home, and thank them for their trouble. There's noone (sic) any dumber than me or less talented, and all the guys whistle at me everywhere I go, so I must be a beaut. I have to be the dumbest blonde in this town, and I defy anyone to be dumber than I."

QuickTime Video Clip: Gloria Pall as stripper "Sugar Torch" in The Crimson Doll (1961)

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